A new iPhone update!!!
So- A screen time app is now available which gives you a breakdown of how long each day you spend using your phone. Finding out I spend over 6 hours a day on social media alone, with my total usage per day being over 12 hours, yes it came as a huge shock to me.
I realise I check my social media endless amounts each day, obsessing over the possibility of a new post, what will gain me followers? What could lose me followers?
Is it funny? Sexy? Cute? Real?
I don’t even know anymore.
So I stopped.
Stop-tober was the perfect excuse to give up social media, 31 days and counting.
Time to focus on real life.
Day 1: My sister had a baby. Ironic really the most instagram-able event of the year for me happens on day 1 of my venture. Although, it was a great distraction for me, staring at my gorgeous new nephew all day instead of my phone.
Days would pass where I would find myself absent-mindedly staring at my phone for no apparent reason, waiting for it to do something. Bizarre really.
Strangely though, I haven’t missed it, if anything I feel a bit scared about heading back into that world. The only time I was tempted to crack stoptober was at 2am on day 10 or 11, I was having an insomniac moment and so I was wide awake, thinking, over thinking. It wasn’t fun. Is it just me or does everything seem so much worse or dramatic in the middle of the night? Anyway I convinced myself that when an ex of mine cheated on me it was all my fault. I was convinced the problem was with me and I knew if I put this on twitter people would sort my head right out, I’d have someone, anyone, to discuss it with at that time. But no I had to get through it alone and I did. In this way I understand that social media can be an absolute blessing to some people, a therapy, an outlet or like me some company when your support network are all sleeping. It’s just a shame this is only one small attribute to a very otherwise negative platform.
So the question is, do I feel different?
The answer is Yes!
I feel more present, more in the moment. I enjoy life now without feeling any pressure to prove I’m having a good time to anyone else but myself. I can do crazy things just because I want to and not because “it would make a cool post.”
I feel I can focus on myself and focus on sorting my life out more as oppose to being too busy trying to please everyone else.
Do I think social media is the devil?
I don’t think so. Used correctly I believe it’s a powerful and positive tool. The problem is I don’t believe it is used correctly the majority of time though. We live in a world where your worth is determined by followers and likes, not morals, ambitions, successes or dreams anymore. This makes me sad.
I have already been asked 12 times in 23 days so far “How many followers do you have Rachael?” One guy actually told me his friend would fancy me more if he knew how many followers I had! Like WHAT? So not that he thinks I’m pretty, fun, ambitious or kind? Seriously. I even know that employers in some industries take applicant’s follower counts into consideration before employment these days? WHY??? I don’t get it! Why does someone’s follower count enhance or diminish their skill set? It literally annoys me if I’m honest.
I think social media would be a much happier place if follows and likes were for the profile owner’s eyes only. If they wish to share this information privately with companies for promo work reasons as so many people do then great! But to the general public its just a case of you follow the profiles you like and vice versa with no judgment because nobody knows. There are no “popular kids.” You post what YOU like and this way there is no pressure to become something you’re not. I tried that- it doesn’t work.
You see right now I love that I’m no longer scared to look at my phone, I’m no longer anxious of what I might see, what could pop up on my time line and ruin my whole day/week. I am back living in ‘Rachael Land’ on ‘Cloud Rachael’ my life is about me, myself and I, after all it is mine. So it’s good to be selfish in that respect.
Now all I think is if I’m not living my life for me, who am I living it for?