Ok, so I know this sounds dramatic. But I have been feeling recently like “The last single girl.”
People normally associate being single with going out all the time, having fun, no stress, no strain no pressure. Yes. When you have friends who are also single to hang out with! This is my point.
I’m late 20’s now so its no shock that even though it seems I’ve stayed in the exact same place in my life for several years, all my friends have moved on, moved up, moved out. Obviously.
I can’t go out all the time because I have no one to go out with, unless I’m literally a gooseberry as boyfriends will more then likely rock up at some point. (Which is also then a huge cock block.)
Anyway.. Society is screaming at me that I need to move out, fly solo. Which is annoying as my deposit is there but, as a self employed person buying on my own its no easy task to get a mortgage. If I was in a relationship though…..
I’m currently trapped in a house filled with family including nieces and nephews, which is off putting enough to any dude. It’s off putting to me let alone them.
So, what its really like to be 28 and single.
- Really lonely. People forget that when they cancel on you they’re leaving you with no-one else or nothing else to do. I get ditched all the time and to them it’s fine they have their boyfriends and their plans. All good right? Well no, now I’m left in limbo with a takeaway for one and a face full of make-up as I’ve been so excited for a girly night I’ve gotten ready.
- You realize that you are no longer #1 to anyone. Tonight I literally just invited my best friend to an event with me this week. Turns out she went last night but didn’t even tell me as she took her boyfriend instead. She = my #1 go to person whereas I= her #2. Do not get me wrong this doesn’t offend me. I understand people want to spend time with their partners. It’s just a harsh reality when you’re feeling a bit low, a bit forgotten.
- The dreams you have had with your friends from a young age which you have kept hold of, suddenly get dismissed by your friends as they now have other “priorities.” Age 21, we make a pact. “For our 30th’s girls we are going to Vegas.” A holiday I have dreamt of ever since. Recently its been dismissed off one by one. “Too busy, too expensive” Again its totally understandable with what’s going on in their lives, it’s just more evidential to me I’m so left behind as that would still be a huge priority to me. Something I was so looking forward to. My friendships are still top of my list as I have nothing else.
- Everyone assumes you want their relationship. I say this as everyone I meet questions my single status and then says, “Well my boyfriend is from Birmingham why don’t you meet a nice brummy lad.” I think what on earth makes you think I want a relationship like yours? Or “What you need is a nice lorry driver.” No what I need is to meet the person right for me. Not a specific ‘brand’ of man.
- Lastly, I am single because I choose to be single. I don’t choose to be lonely, I don’t choose to feel forgotten, but I haven’t found the right person. I’m out there, but I have standards and I’m still healing from past hurt. So please don’t treat me like I’m an alien, or unloveable. I’m just focusing on me right now.