Tinder Traumas..

I am single.

Do you realize how hard it is to be single in your mid 20s these days? Chivalry died a long time ago. Respect went with it. Why would anyone want to spend time getting to know me just to get my number, when there’s a super easy chance to have sex with someone else instead the same night? I’m all about respect. But I feel I need to lower my standards to meet someone. It’s a battle I face myself with, but one I lose A LOT.

I decided to try out the tinder game, suss out the slags from the gents. Frankly all I’ve really encountered is total weirdos, but it is tinder after all. Never the less I’m still on there.

My latest tinder encounter, I’ve just cancelled, literally this evening, I feel mean but I don’t think I can handle another awkward situation ever again. He seemed really sweet, but knew a lot about me that I hadn’t told him, odd. He had researched me and told me about it –Weird, but forgivable, we all do it, I’ve had my dad Google lads names to see if they are what they say they are, but I’ve never told the lad that. The thing I found most off putting is when he said, “my #1 rule is never eat on dates!” WHAT? I have no words- ill just starve and get really drunk then yeah? I don’t know what on earth that is about but I like food. #simple. #bye!

My worst tinder encounter had to be Jack. His name really was Jack. I thought as it’s a general name it didn’t matter. Anyway he seemed cute, worked as a teacher, a little shy but quite chivalrous. We decided to meet in town by this group of bars, mid afternoon one fabulous summer day. (There is a reason I’m telling you this.) So, I rock up in my wedges, jeans and cute gold top. He is standing there in tracksuit bottoms and a string vest that I can actually see his nipples through… His Nipples yes- on a DATE! I nearly dropped to the floor in shock I actually wanted to run a mile. Anyway- First bar, we can’t get in to, as they don’t allow tracksuits in the bar. MORTIFIED. Go to the next bar, I order a cocktail and he orders a pint. He pays, downs his pint slams it on the table and says in the thickest scouse accent “Its your round babe!” I thought he was trying to show he is manly and butch by downing his pint, but there is NOTHING manly about insisting I buy you a second drink before I’ve even tasted mine. Chivalrous my a**! He then goes on to tell me about his very serious diet to keep him “looking this good,” I was actually dumbfounded. He liked the look of himself more then me that is for sure! It was a hot day but I still think the ink/dye from his hair dripping down his head in the sweat pouring off him is inexcusable. To make it worse I couldn’t escape. My phone had NO signal, the toilets where to the right, exit to the left and there was no window to crawl out of I did look. When it finally came to the end of the date, there he was trying to kiss me, in broad daylight after I’ve just spent £50 on 3 rounds I didn’t want, I practically back flipped into the taxi. Its 3 years later and he still messages me. Hmmm? Some people just don’t get the hint right?

Moral of the story- Chivalry is dead so keep your standards. It sorts the tinder rights from the tinder wrongs, when tinder is all you have left. P.s on a first date- its never my round!

 


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