Sunday Big Spoon

Where do I find a Sunday Spoon?

 

So, I’ve been back on my home turf for almost two years and to say I’ve been dating dudes is a total LIE. I’ve been dry as a bone, not even had a skin head with his hands down his pants say “eh girl giz a date.” It is nice to be asked once in a while! I don’t know if it’s an aura I give off or if I’m invisible but either way it’s getting depressing. Fair enough I might not be every scouse lads cup of tea. I’d be lying if I said a typical scouse dude was my dream man but, considering I was 15 the last time I dated a scouse lad I realized I should give them a chance. Now I know they aren’t giving me a chance!

Traditional girl over here, living in a time hundreds of years ago I believe a dude should ask a girl out. I’ve tried every technique to bag myself a man- except the “smash and dash, then hope he likes me” technique. That just isn’t my style, though it has worked for a few friends of mine!

I am starting to think the problem is definitely my end; men are out there it’s just my intolerance to entertain them. Too choosy some would say, I prefer to see it as knowing my worth. The idea of having to make time for someone other then myself seems totally alien to me, the idea of having to go on that awkward first date, making boring chat and being impeccably polite just doesn’t fit into my schedule these days. I am the last single girl! Out of my group of friends that is.

Some of my friends seem to have really healthy relationships, having lives independent from their BF’s not having to ask permission to abandon ship once a month to catch up and have girl only time, because yes you do also get those girls who feel the need to drag their BF to every occasion invited or not. Or frankly they won’t turn up at all. Watching your girls go from fun loving party girls to stay at home housewives is painful, it just shows me exactly how I don’t want to be, but I do wonder if they realize what they’ve turned into themselves- do rose tinted glasses really exist?

I think I’m looking for a dude who I fancy so much I could explode, who I get to know casually so there’s no awkward first dates. A man who thinks I am the most beautiful creature to have walked the planet, someone who has banter and who can be my sexy best friend, no insecurities. A man who knows the exact right time to turn up on a Sunday, with a maccies ready to be big spoon after my heavy weekend. There, that sums up my perfect man- my Sunday big spoon. And he won’t even care if I have the remains of puke and kebab still left in my hair. #Goals.

Now where do I find one of those?


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